Help your customers become who they want to be

On climbing trees and helping customers

At the park near where I grew up is a tree that I always wanted to climb. But I never did.

When I was young enough to dream of climbing it, I couldn’t reach the first branch.

When I was tall enough to reach the first branch I’d lost interest.

I don’t live there anymore.

And I never climbed that tree.

I thought about that tree the other day when I was watching my son trying to climb a tree himself.

It was too tall for him to do on his own. And no fun if I helped too much.

The fun depends on the effort. When it’s too hard, there’s no feeling of achievement, no spike of dopamine. When it’s too easy there’s no sense of satisfaction and again, no hit of dopamine.

Dr Carol Dweck reveals this idea in her excellent book, Mindset, where she explains her concept of the growth mindset.

In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s a chance to grow.

— Dr Carol Dweck

I think most things in life are like that.

And marketing is no different.

It’s easy to forget that our audience has to put in some effort to learn about our thing (and they’d secretly like a reward for doing so).

But when we don’t make ourselves clear and relatable, it can be hard for them. Buying becomes like a threat. If they buy the wrong thing they might lose money (or look silly).

They feel doubt and confusion. Sometimes this feeling is too horrible to bear, so it’s easier to walk away than try to figure it out.

Like a kid trying to climb a tree, if the first step is out of reach, the brain says it’s better to walk away without trying than to struggle, looking and feeling hopeless.

On the flip side, if we make our message too plain then theres no joy in it either. There’s no insight, no spark, and no reason to remember it.

Sticking with the climbing analogy, when it’s so easy, it’s not worth the time to climb it. There’s no personal satisfaction and no high fives from the other kids either. Better to find something else that is worth your time and effort.

It’s a delicate balance and sometimes it’s hard to get right.

The key is to remember who you’re doing it for and what they need it for.

No matter how great your thing is, it’s not for you and it’s not about you. It’s for your customer and it’s about them.

The goal is not to show how clever you are, or how great your thing is.

The goal is to help your customer feel clever or get what they want. If you can help them do that, of course they will remember you and they will want more from you.

This kind of problem particularly affects specialists and experts. It seems obvious to go out and tell everyone how much experience you have and all about the clever things you can do.

The trouble is, your customers are not experts. That’s why they’re looking for you.

All your clever, technical stuff is hard for them to understand and it makes them feel silly trying to wrap their head around it. No one wants that, so they leave.

No use being the tall and mighty tree that no kid can climb. 

What people really want is someone who understands how they’re feeling and makes it easy to get started.

So start by offering them a boost. Help them get to the first branch, so they can feel good about getting started.

And be the one that teaches them how to climb.

If you help them become the climber they want to become, then they’ll be bonded to you and remember you forever.

–

Photo by Felix Mittermeier from Pexels